From the bottom up

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with...well, if you're a big girl trying to be a svelte woman, it begins with putting the M&Ms down and getting your fat a-- to the gym.

So perhaps we'll only go 500 miles.

Welcome to my blog. I'm a journalist. I have a blog that I get paid to write. But being in the public eye can be stifling, scary. As my mom says, "you can't tell everyone everything that's in your head," or everything that you know or something like that. But I need to. I'm a writer. I'm better at writing than I am talking, and I write better behind a screen and when there's a chance that someone, somewhere may read it. So here I am. Here's my blog.

I'm 29. There are XXX days left until my 30th birthday. A few months ago, I realized I still have many of the same goals I've had since I was 11 or 12. I also realized that I could finally accomplish them, and to keep from feeling like an utter failure, I've decided to try in earnest this year. Time's almost up.

My big goal is to finally, finally reach my goal weight. In my mind's eye, I'm a runner. Fit, sexy, athletic. Like me, but a little sweatier and minus the fat rolls. That's goal No. 1 -- to lose about 30-35 pounds. Goal No. 2 is to get out of debt. I'm $257 from paying Uncle Sam his due this year. I've got around another $7,000 in consumer (read: credit card) debt to go. I wanted to have my debt paid off by July 2010, but in order to prepare myself for my next step, I'm going to have to aim for paying it down by half in that time. My next step is goal No. 3: getting into Ph.D. school.

Oh, and I'd like to have a boyfriend I could talk to, a partner to experience life with, but after two years of dating disappointments, that really is on the backburner.

I'm perpetually trying to get my life together.

So here's where I begin. I've enrolled in Transform 09, a contest through Women's Health magazine in which participants spend 12 weeks (the last 12 weeks of the year) getting themselves together with a prescribed workout plan and some eating guidelines. I've posted half-naked pictures of myself on the contest Web site. Here's hoping it works.

I'm also working on my school applications. I'm applying to seven universities: Syracuse, UPenn, UMaryland- College Park, UNC-Chapel Hill, LSU, UTexas-Austin and USC (So Cal). I just bombed the GRE two days ago. As soon as I finish writing this post, I'm going to sign up to take it again.

I have no money this week, ergo, I'm doing my best not to spend any money.

Hmm...nothing else to report. Not really, anyway. Today is a day for me, a day I do nothing that I don't want to do, and I do nothing that other people ask me to. Sometimes these days are necessary for me to accomplish those longstanding tasks that will continue to stand and make me feel like a failure because I continually put them off. You would not believe how much consernation results out of telling people you don't/won't have time to deal with them or their stuff for a single weekend.

But I did it. And I'm glad. It gave me time to start this blog. Lace 'em up readers, it's time to start walking forward.